Dufflecoat Supreme: The Facts

Join us on Twitter on Melbourne Cup Day (Tuesday 6 November 2012) and help make #DufflecoatSupreme trend.

Some people have been flummoxed about who to bet on for the Melbourne Cup every year. So here at Champagne Comedy, here is a cheat sheet for the ultimate contender of horses entering races that trots all over Phar-Lap and Black Caviar. It is Graham and The Colonel‘s very own: Dufflecoat Supreme.

Dufflecoat Supreme owners: Graham and The Colonel.

The gorgeous breed of rodeo horse is a sure-fire winner in any race, including the Greyhounds, with a record number of times being scratched. We cannot supply a photo of this horse due to being in a witness protection program, so here’s a rundown of special abilities that make Dufflecoat Supreme a truly special horse.

• Almost died of a mystery illness: head kicked in after losing for the 27th time… allegedly.
• Gout
• Tennis Elbow
• Tinea
• Cracked Lips (possibly from all the punching)
• Dandruff
• Receding hair-line
• Grey hair
• PMT (and was a Stallion)
• Vertigo
• Car Sickness
• Polio
• Beer Gut
• Athletes Hoof

So don’t put a hoof wrong and place your bets on a sure-fire winner. If you’re still unsure, take Bargearse‘s tip: Number 5 with Black Bean Sauce.

Disclaimer: If you found this via Google and are not aware of this champagne sketch comedy, it’s satire from 1992 and none of it is true.