Bad Movies from when you were young

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lagerdalek
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Post by lagerdalek » Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:41 pm

Starcrash, a wonderfully terrible Italian sci-fi movie - very much a starwars bandwagon failure

**EDIT**

I really should read at least THE SAME PAGE OF REPLIES before posting (sorry foolhardycousingeorge :D ), but it really is my favourite Bad Movie.
Stella Star (Munro) and her sidekick Akton (Gortner) are being pursued by the Chief of the Galactic Police, Thor (Tessier) and the police robot Elle (Camp). After they are captured and sentenced to hard labor. However, the Emperor of the First Cicle of the Universe (Plummer) commutes their sentences in return for their aid in tracking down a missing ship in the midst of the Haunted Stars. The ship in question was seeking out Count Zarth Arn (Spinell), who has developed a secret super-weapon. The vessel was also carrying the Emperor's only son Simon (Hasselhoff).
Stella and her companions set out on their search, traveling to several planets, including a world of Amazons, an ice planet where they are betrayed by Thor, and a world of Neanderthals where they discover a lifeboat from the lost ship. On the last, Stella is rescued by Simon. At the planet's core, they locate Zarth Arn's secret base. The Emperor is defeated by Zarth, but Stella and the robot Elle manage to destroy the evil Count in his space fortress. Stella and Simon fall in love.
http://www.purehumbug.com

An elaborate ruse involving pillows.

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Pete Hill (not Smith)
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Post by Pete Hill (not Smith) » Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:05 pm

I used to love watching war movies when I was young and two particularly bad ones (I found them to be bad even back then) were Raid on Rommel (1971) and The Battle of the Bulge (1967).

Raid on Rommel featured a rather unfit and unhealthy looking Richard Burton as a British officer leading a crack team of commandoes disguised as Germans across enemy territory in North Africa during WW2 to destroy the giant supply dump at Tobruk used by the German Afrika Korps. What really rankles about this flick is that not only is the plot but also practically all of the action footage is stolen from another film, namely the war film 'Tobruk' which was released in 1967 and starred Rock Hudson and George Peppard. Raid on Rommel would be one of the laziest war movies ever made, every single action shot, even if it was just a truck driving past the camera, was pilched from Tobruk! And thats not all- the intrepid team capture a German nurse who just happens to be a gorgeous red-head with a long 70s hair-style, perfect make-up and porno-orange sunglasses- just as all WW2 German nurses looked like!

The Battle of the Bulge starred Henry Fonda, Robert Shaw, Charles Bronson and Telly Salvalas. In addition to the misleading title which suggested an epic version of The Biggest Loser, this movie had some problems with geography and special effects. It was supposed to be set in the Ardennes forest in Belgium in December 1944 during one of the coldest winters of last century. Unfortunately, the climate didn't agree to co-operate with the film-makers and the final battle takes place on what appears to be a dry, dusty prairie in bright sunshine. As for special effects, well to be fair, there have been plenty of war movies with bad examples of these. The awesomely un-convincing water-explosions in The Dambusters (1955) immediately comes to mind. As does Mosquito Squadron (1972) which portrayed a crash-landing plane by tying an Airfix model to a piece of string, setting it alight and having it crash on some-one's model-railway diorama. Not to mention the same film featuring a young David MacCallum (he plays the old guy in NCIS) talking to his love-interest whilst pretending to drive a car past a screen showing stock-footage of a passing landscape. What distinguishes Bulge is the stupendously bad model-work in one scene which is supposed to depict a German tank blowing up an American supply locomotive and the whole thing is done with miniatures- the little trees even vibrate as the toy train whistles by- so cute! Its like the editor said to a colleague, "that director is a knob, lets insert this footage from Thomas the Tank and see if anybody notices!"

Ah, memories.........
Pete
Finally I walked the streets of Bexhill at night disguised as a human man.....

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foolhardycousingeorge
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Bad Movies from when you were young

Post by foolhardycousingeorge » Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:40 am

The other night during a drive home, I thought of the film, Night of the Comet.

See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087799/

As a piece of film making, Night of the Comet could be described as more 'obscure', than bad. A comet wipes out the population of the world, except for some Californian teenagers.

I think it got released in Australia back in early 1986, perhaps with the hope of cashing in on public interest in the impending arrival of Halley's Comet in southern hemisphere skies.

Night of the Comet came out quickly on video. I remember a friend from primary school saw it, and he liked it.
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Sniv Whettuce
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Bad Movies from when you were young

Post by Sniv Whettuce » Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:37 am

Snivins is a big fan of post-apocalyptic films, no matter how rickety they are. He's particularly fond of the ones where the male hero, and hordes of pragmatic tasty types, are the only survivors. Oh, yeth, Snivins is a big fan of the genre. Big fan.


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skel
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Post by skel » Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:24 pm

I have a copy of Night of the Comet. Its not that bad, well, for the first half...
Singo's a pooftah!

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kavin
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Post by kavin » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:30 pm

menagers wrote:I recently committed an unforgivable sin. I took my 4 year old daughter to the Bratz movie. As a film, it was pure, pure evil. I will never be able to remove the stain of it from my brain. It had one of those awful premises where there is a horrible world of nasty, stereotyped, prejudiced people. At the head of all this unpleasentness is the wicked witch type character who is, of course, a scheming bitch. The idea is that the stars of the show will convince everyone to live a better lifestyle and they all go off skipping into the sunset. HOWEVER, they totally failed to give the aforementioned B'atch her comeuppance, she ends up tying for first, not coming last. And the Bratz (well this is where I should have known better) just glorify the world of shopping and wearing too much make-up :-x.

Luckily my daughter was far more interested in her popcorn, glow in the dark M&M's and weird, unnatural, apple slices from Maccas that never go brown, to notice. Or so I hope.

My point is, am I living in a La-La dream world where all the films from my youth are glorified masterpieces? But I simply can't recall ever seeing a bad one. Sure there was more bad langauge and violence, but there was no sexualisation of children. As a child, do we ever walk out of a cinema saying "no good, mama"?

Give me The Dark Crystal, Ewoks: Caravan of Courage, and Flight of the Navigator anyday, over this current modern malarki.
I totally agree with you!!!!

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foolhardycousingeorge
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Bad Movies from when you were young

Post by foolhardycousingeorge » Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:09 pm

Last night, I recalled watching the film, My Stepmother is an Alien back in the early nineties.

I'm certain that today, if it's on DVD, 'starring Academy Award winner, Kim Basinger (L.A. Confidential)', will be on the back cover in the blurb.
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Pete Hill (not Smith)
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Post by Pete Hill (not Smith) » Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:59 am

Sniv Whettuce wrote:Snivins is a big fan of post-apocalyptic films, no matter how rickety they are. He's particularly fond of the ones where the male hero, and hordes of pragmatic tasty types, are the only survivors. Oh, yeth, Snivins is a big fan of the genre. Big fan.


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How about 'Damnation Alley' from about 1977 which starred George Peppard and Jan-Michael Vincent (remember him in TV's 'Airhawk' back in the 1980s?). Four survivors of a nuclear holocaust drive across the US in an armoured RV- lots of crappy special-effects and lots of Vincent's wavy hair.
Sorry, Sniv. Not many pragmatic tasty types in that one, though.
Finally I walked the streets of Bexhill at night disguised as a human man.....

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foolhardycousingeorge
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Bad Movies from when you were young

Post by foolhardycousingeorge » Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:44 pm

The other night, I thought of a film called The Toy.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084809/

I remember one class in my primary school got to watch The Toy on video as an end of year treat. Remember, this was back in the early eighties, when films with such racial overtones were not considered an issue, especially for impressionable youngsters to watch.
".....that's what's ahead here on Martin Molloy; the only radio show with an inner core of sphagnum."

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Kippers
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Post by Kippers » Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:14 pm

foolhardycousingeorge wrote:The other night, I thought of a film called The Toy.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084809/

I remember one class in my primary school got to watch The Toy on video as an end of year treat. Remember, this was back in the early eighties, when films with such racial overtones were not considered an issue, especially for impressionable youngsters to watch.
I remember renting this out with some mates in about 1987 (my prime teenage video renting years!). Seem to recall quite enjoying it, though this was probably entirely down to the fact that it starred Richard Pryor (who could make almost any old rubbish seem funny). Easily confused with Robin Williams's 1992 effort Toys (in my addled mind at least).

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