JANE: One of the best films this year would have to be Mediterranean
ALL: Brilliant! Brilliant!
JASON: We saw, The Last Days of Chez Nous.
ALL: Brilliant! Brilliant!
SANTO: We got the video of Blazing Saddles. (silence)...Brilliant brilliant
TOM (the commentator): There’s always a straggler. He’s a conversational clutz.
JASON: Went to the local council and there was a handicapped person there..and not one single ramp in sight!
ALL: Terrible!
SANTO: That’s interesting cos our work hired a spastic. (silence) What’s the use?...He can’t do a thing…brilliant…brilliant
TOM: For every straggler there’s a spoiler. He undercuts the achievements of others
JANE: We’ve just been to the Greek Isles and it’s the most beautiful place on Earth.
ROB: Greece was ruined 20 years ago. Have you been to Turkey?
JASON: The Power of One- a very good film. Brilliant.
ROB: Have you read the book? Twice as good as the film.
TOM: You can imagine him sitting next to a woman who’s just given birth
JANE: Giving birth would have to be one of the most profoundly moving experiences of my life.
ROB: You’ve obviously never stood on the summit of Mt Everest.
SANTO: Actually that would have snow on it…cos it’s such a tall mountain…I mean in the wintertime.
TOM: Another conversational killer is the recently returned traveller who picks up an accent in 6 days…
Possibly the worst person is someone who can’t help but bring the mood down.
(All are laughing.)
WOMAN: A four year old woman was nearly murdered here 2 days ago
TOM: That’ll take a bit of conversational rebuilding!
JANE: So…has anyone else here…been…murdered?
JASON: Great meal, Jenny!
WOMAN: It’s such a pity to think that 4 million Somalian children are dying of starvation.
SANTO: That’d be cos they’re not eating.
WOMAN no.2: I’ve been to Somalia!
ROB: It’s not a patch on Ethiopia.
TOM: Here’s someone who never says a word because he’s been dragged along by his partner!
JASON: So, Mick, what do you do?
MICK: Work?
JASON: And where’s that?
MICK: City?
JANE: And where did you meet Karen?
MICK: Oh, she was chosen out of the studio audience…and I specifically remember asking for someone under fourteen.
KAREN: And a virgin!
MICK: That too! No go on either count? I’m talkative now, aren’t I?
TOM: No matter what you can always turn to TV.
JASON: The new series of Rumpole is coming!
ALL: Brilliant…brilliant!
SANTO: What about, The Late Show? (silence) Brilliant… brilliant…