Ned Kelly’s Last Stand

TONY: Here we wre in the bustlin’ town of Glenrowan
MICK: Fortunately we missed the crowds. I think they subsided..oooh around about the 1800s!

TONY: I’m chockablock with goodies from the Ned Kelly souvenir shop! “I drink with the Kelly gang” stubbie cooler.
MICK: The year is gonna taste so much better from now on.
TONY: Ned Kelly cigarette lighter- exactly the same as Ned used to use.
MICK: Indeed Tone, I’m moved
TONY: A Ned kelly join-the-dots..and gee…I wonder who that turns out to be? [guess who, folks!] Your own Ned Kelly handpuppet! You can re-enact scenes!

MICK: I can’t wait to do the noose scenes!...[gets out some drink bottles] “Red Ned.” “Kelly Cola.” “Lynch Lime.” Unfortunately, they were all out of “Bugger me, I think the troopers are coming Creamy Soda.”

TONY: Here’s Ye Old Wishing Well. While I’m here, I think I’ll make a wish meself…*wishes*...OH DAMN! I’m still in Glenrowan!

TONY (reading sign): “Be warned, this attraction can and will frighten people of all ages.” [Tony and Mick stare at crappy “attraction” in disbelief].

What man would spend over two million dollars creating this? We met him [middle aged lunatic guy smiles as he walks around ringing large bell frantically].