Who The Hell Is Jeff Smart

By Jeff Smart.

“Who the hell is Jeff Smart hey?”

These were the words uttered by one Santo Cilauro during the end credits of the first ep of series 2 of the D-generation in 1986. Finally after three decades, his story can finally be told!

It’s a story of the constant struggles to meet impossible deadlines with miniscule budgets. Yet against all odds this person would tirelessly and consistently serve up to us the humble viewer, such delights as G-spot the dog, mouldy milk cartons and of course Fartwhistles.

Through his own words (and some pictures) he takes us into his own murky working past with stories revealing such truths behind the series such as the real angle of the wall our Caped Crusaders climbed, the day Santo got glassed, and the true story behind Marg Downey and a jar of Vaseline.

Finally we lift the lid and solve the mystery as to who Jeff Smart really was….. (not that anyone’s really that interested of course).

Read on dear reader and all will be revealed…

In 1986 I got a job as a special effects prop-maker with ABC TV in Melbourne, and the very first thing I got to work on was a new pilot comedy sketch show, creating all manner of special effects props including a very tacky Thunderbirds model!

It was called The D-Generation!

Luckily I continued working on the show when it went to series, and even had some small involvement when they jumped ship later on to Channel 7. The shows afforded me many opportunities to do some fun, creative and interesting work for some really nice people.

As I was based at the ABC production facility workshops in Highett, I wasn’t on set all that often at the main studios in Ripponlea. But occasionally I would be unshackled and allowed to venture down to operate one of special props I had made, taking my camera along to take pics of my work. To help fill up the 36 exposure film roll (remember those!!), I’d often click off pics of whatever other things were going on or around the studio at the time. As a result this is probably the largest collection of behind the scenes photos from the The D-Generation shows in existence.

So sit back and enjoy the goings on behind the scenes of those early halcyon and formative days, back to a time when a Logie award was a distant (and very bad) dream, and The Late Show usually referred to an old movie that you stayed up to watch after midnight in your jim jams!

Truly Vintage Champagne Comedy .. (well maybe Sparkling Wine, after all these were early days!!).

Enjoy!

Jeff Smart ( ex special props-maker ABC D-Generation series).

This is the official crew photo taken at the end of Series Two.
Designer Max Nicholson is in the white shirt at back, location designer Dale Mark is in the black shirt sitting just in front of him. Mark Gibson (who of course produced The Late Show) is standing at the right with headphones around neck. 2nd Assistant Richard Van’t Riet is standing far left in white skivvy, Producer Kris Noble is sitting on the floor next to Michael Veitch, and Alfie Camilleri (a star in his own right) is holding a sign that says “Rob”, because Mr Sitch was off set doing his medical exams at the time. As for myself, I’m sitting next to Sue Yardley (just behind Michael Veitch). Apologies to those whose names and faces I’ve forgotten, …it was a long time ago!!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Main Cast poses for the camera for a publicity pic I think.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Here we can see the real angle of the wall on the Batman and Robin “Fear of latent homosexuality” skit! (…no they didn’t really scale a ver†ical wall!). 
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Here’s Producer Kris Noble smiling for the camera as they set up for the final “D generation song skit”. (Perhaps he’s smiling because it’s the end of the series and he can go home now?).
Kris had of course talent spotted the Dgen at the Last Laugh comedy revue, and had invited them to do a pilot show which got the ball rolling. So basically it’s down to him!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The lighting crew decide to go fishing for the day, …actually they are tweaking some lights using a lighting grid pole, …but you knew that. This is in preparation for the live recording session later that day.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The cast is introduced to the studio audience ( that might be John Alsop in the red jacket as warm up man, but I might be wrong).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Kris Noble going through a rehearsal with the D-Gen team (and Richard Van’t Riet) at a local hall in Elsternwick.
These blocking in sessions were held off site from the studios, allowed the team to get their timings and performances honed, without the expense of taking up studio time. Note Magda eating in the back row!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The cast casually go through script ideas (this was taken at the channel 7 studios a few weeks before the D-Gen Goes Commercial show).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
This shot of Santo (ringing to borrow a caravan) is one of the reasons why the team eventually went their own way and went off to Frontline.
Because of a shadow cast across Santo’s face by the window frame of this telephone box, the scene needed several retakes to get right.
I remember many of the cast became increasingly frustrated that a lot of decisions as to retakes were based upon technical considerations rather than performance, and this was something they didn’t want to compromise on again. Solution?… make it yourself..which they did!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Santo and Michael typically spent much time between takes sharing fashion tips (to the mutual disadvantage of both of them).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Me lending a hand ( initially perched on a wobbly ladder)!
I carved the giant hand out of a huge block of polystyrene, it was a messy process and for many weeks after I was still finding bean bag type styrene balls up my nose, in my hair, socks, shoes you name it.
I loved doing these studio days, as you very much felt part of the show, and it was always nice to interact with the cast and crew rather than be locked way at the ABC workshops in Highett.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Marge Downey looks a little glum here due to her deflated chest. I did have an accompanying pic of her fully inflated with a big smile on her face (for contrast), and damn it I cant find it any more!
This is for the bit in the W.A.N.C. newsroom where she says..”and I’ll be back with bigger tits”.
To achieve the effect I stood off camera and on cue released the air out of two balloons strapped on to her chest (the balloons not me), …she thought it looked great! As did we all!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The dining set from series 2 ep 1 with camera crews moving around into position to cover the different angles. The cam at left would be taking the closeup of John, whilst the cam on the right would have done the opening track in and picked up the three shot of Marg, Rob and John.
A third camera slightly out of shot on the right would have done the closeups of Marg.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Mark Gibson giving a cue on a very minimalist set for the “keep it a secret”skit .
We had some really good designers on the show, who made the best of limited in house resources and constraints of time and budget. Des White, Rudy Joosten, Max Nicholson, Dale Mark, Penny Southgate and others to name a few, and they really gave it their all.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
A typical example of the silly props we used to make for the show, here I’m posing with a specially made lightweight screwdriver, which was required for Michael Veitch to be stabbed in the neck with during the car argument skit with Magda.
Unfortunately when it was used in the sketch you can clearly see the inside of the empty handle as Michael turns round in his seat, revealing it to the world!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Obviously we couldn’t really “glass” our dearest Santo ( his mum was bound to have complained) so a special “broken plastic glasses with shards tiara type thing” was made, this needed to be
fitted quite quickly as he is only off camera in the sketch for short moments.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
A scene in studio with a self contained set on a small rostrum.
Some of the sketches were prerecorded during weekdays, with the live show recorded on Sunday nights . The prerecorded stuff would be played out on monitors for the audience (to fill time and acquire a real laugh track), whilst the crew resets for the next live skit. This explains why this set is portable, so it can be quickly wheeled in and back by the staging crew whilst a prerecorded skit was being run.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Sometimes it’s impractical (and in this case outright dangerous) to film in the studio.
For the Tassie Dam skit, the set was built within the confines of a circular (above ground) swimming pool at the set construction area in Highett, this meant there was less danger from water being in contact with studio lights etc.
Highett was an ABC off site production area where we had set construction, wardrobe, scenic art props making and storage, and can be often seen in the background doubling as Stunt
Headquarters for The Late Show “shit-scared” sketches.
It’s no longer there, having since been demolished and redeveloped, but the area where the boys are changing out of their wet clothes is on the access road which now leads to the Officeworks at 1123 Nepean Hwy Highett (about 400 metres past the KFC going south). If you do go visit stunt headquarters some day, just watch out for the bus being driven the wrong way.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Marg Downey caught in the act stealing (and eating) a prop from the set.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Santo poses for my camera as an East European emigre, whilst John looks very serious ( …he was after all training to be a lawyer at the time).
This was a brilliant skit from a technical point of view in that the camera crew and vision mixer had their work cut out for them as they had to quickly flit from one person to another in quick succession, it took a few goes but the end result was well worth the effort.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The infamous Cat Scan sketch!
I was congratulated by the team for the effort I put in to make this cat, which was just supposed to be a stuffed cat for a quick throwaway gag! I however decided to make its head move and tail wag via radio control. This meant they were able to hold the shot and “milk it” for a lot longer than they had anticipated, creating a bigger buildup to the punchline and allowing a rolling caption to be added.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
An embryonic sequence with Santo and Michael!
I sculpted up the big latex heads which the makeup dept applied. I also made the giant coat-hanger that drags them out (notice the hook part peaking into frame just left of Santo’s head.) I recall this moment caused a loud collective groan from the studio audience as the two were forcibly dragged out of the womb!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The Supplemental newsreaders!
Made from sheet perspex heated up and blown into a half sphere using air ( like blowing up a big bubble), these lotto balls were a bit of a challenge to make (they kept bursting as we made them!).
When Santo saw his ball, he was a bit embarrassed at the 69 number I had painted it on,
(no-one had said what the numbers should be so I improvised!), and so he tried to cover it up with his arm!
I was told he was embarrassed by it because he didn’t want his mother to see it!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART

This sequence of pics features the steps involved in making a life cast of Santo’s head for the sketch where after verbally abusing his wife she blows his head up.

Santo getting a full head cast in dental alginate (for detail) whilst breathing through tubes
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
.. followed up by a plaster casing which fellow prop-maker Nick Hilligoss is applying.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Me applying final coat of plaster
Santo was in this for about an hour and was a real trouper about it.
He didn’t know it at the time but we had a bit of trouble getting him out of it, as the plaster had gone too hard. But luckily we managed to get him out in the end, and he was able to continue providing his services to comedy relatively unscathed by the experience.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
A plaster cast was made from the alginate mold, which needed the eyelids carved open.
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Myself and the completed plaster cast.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
With our master complete, we made another mold of it in silicone, which I am about to pour hot wax into.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
…and this is the result, three Santo heads!
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Next we took one of the raw wax heads into the garden area behind the Highett workshops and the VFX person put a charge into it`(we needed to know how much charge would blow it apart before we took it into the studio).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
..and kaboom the head blows up, just as we wanted it to.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
With our remaining two wax heads (so we got two takes if needed) they were painted in Santo’s skin tones ( note ref pics on right wall).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Here I am applying final touches such as hairline and eyelashes.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Ready for action in place against a bluescreen in the studio, about to be blown to bits.
From this day on we did all sorts of things to Santo’s head (knowing we had a life cast of it) including being cut off by a chainsaw in a cinema skit.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART

And the rest of the cast didn’t get off lightly, as soon we had to do face casts of Rob, Magda and Marg. These were a bit simpler as we only had to do faces not the whole head.

Marg being face cast ( I cant remember for what or for why?).
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
At one point we had to cast her leg in plaster for a skit where she snaps off a limb during a yoga type visual gag. When she turned up at the workshops we stuck her in an ill fitting one piece swimming costume, and I spent the next hour or so rubbing vaseline over her leg and laying up plaster, (hey it’s a difficult job but someones got to do it!) I hope she enjoyed it…!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART

As the 1st series progressed, and the second was in the offing, the D-Gen wanted to do all new titles for the second series, and up the ante a bit with some sketches.

As a result the second series had greater scope and required more special props. Luckily we had a bit more lead time to get things ready (they had obviously been writing a lot of stuff during the hiatus prior to the 2nd series), meaning we had a lot less last minute things to do, and could indulge ourselves a bit more.
This led to sequences that were far more ambitious than before, an good example of this was first ep of series 2 with the trip down the supermarket (and the rabbit hole) to the land of Narnia/wonderland which is peppered across the episode.

Here I’m applying a layer of vaseline to Robs hairline and covering him up with glad wrap so the plaster casting materials don’t get caught up in his body hair..ouch!
With robs face cast I was able to sculpt and create a latex Caterpillar mask that neatly fits Robs features. This had bendy feelers that I operated off camera with a long bike type cable (crouched behind the toadstool looking at a monitor), reacting to his expressions.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Magda poses with her life cast. I had made some extra special mounted castings in plaster for all of our victims..er participants, to keep. Magda was very nervous during her casting process and got a bit panicky ( quite rightly as it’s a strange experience) but afterwards said it was like having a refreshing facial (..she might have been putting on a brave face methinks). This face casting with Magda was done so we could create a dummy face that gets scraped along the road out of a car door. All done in the name of comedy!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
John Harrison milking the joke! ..ha ha…do you get it…this is what happens to your dairy products when you have waited in a supermarket queue for too long, and the use by has seriously expired.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Marg poses with her new bundle of joy in the same skit.
For this we did a full body plaster cast of a real baby and …alright no we didn’t, it was a realistic toy doll everyone! No babies were harmed during the making of this series.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
Me again operating a elf like puppet ( it was actually a Dark Crystal Pod Person puppet replica I had made several years earlier), it was this example of my work that got me the ABC job in the first place.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
This is a pic of a special puppet poodle Dog I created which never made it on screen.
We were on the last shooting day for the final show and running over studio time, so the dog had to be cut. I had spent about two weeks making this thing with moving eyes, a wagging tail, etc.
And knowing all the work I had put into it, a very sheepish Kris Noble came down especially from the control gallery upstairs and came over to me and said “I’m so sorry Jeff, we haven’t got any more studio time”. Ah well I thought, that’s telly isn’t it!
SOURCE: JEFF SMART
The curtain comes down on the last thing we filmed for the DGeneration series at the ABC.
Rob actually wasn’t on set that day (which explains the earlier group shot with Alf holding the Rob sign), but does appear in the sketch having turned up especially to do his bit earlier in the day . The bit (where he does a silly dance) was simply inserted into the show after we shot the studio live. I recall that the floor manager explained to Rob what he wanted him to do, and Rob got it all in one take first go! …and quickly scooted off to his exams.
SOURCE: JEFF SMART

In closing I will say that these people were simply the most humble, nicest, friendliest, easiest, funniest and cleverest people you could ever hope to work with on TV ( and I had previously worked on Young Talent Time!). ….That’s actually true .

I have many happy memories working on the Dgen shows, and have quite a few amusing anecdotes to share, but that will have to wait for another time!
Meantime I’ll leave it to Santo Cilauro who summed it up best during the credit roll at the end of Series 2 Ep 1,”…the credits are just an ego trip for a load of hangers on, ..I mean who the hell is Jeff Smart huh!”

I am very proud to be and to have been, that ‘hanger on’!
Jeff Smart Aug 2019
( pic 200 )
Jeff Smart nowadays with some degenerate items at his home in the UK ( he nicked the mountain climbing poster out of the studio, don’t tell anyone …they’re still after Marg for the apple she nicked off set!).

Jeff Smart.

You can see his work in action on The Best & Second Best Of The D-Generation – available on iTunes.